When was the last time you had an honest money conversation with your spouse or partner?
You likely already talk about all of the other important things (aligning value systems, raising a family, education, career satisfaction, health, etc.), but if you’re like most couples, you’ve found a way to perpetually postpone having the “money talk”.
We get it – talking about money isn’t always comfortable, and it is certainly not enjoyable to talk about if you have financial issues or insecurities. However, as financial stressors are one of the main reasons relationships suffer, we think it is incredibly important to address this topic head on.
So …how can you talk to your partner about money? We’ve gathered our top tips here for helping couples manage their finances and get on the same page:
1. Aim for a continuous, open dialogue
Schedule a “money date” once or twice a month just to discuss your financial situation, review your budget, and discuss upcoming priorities. These money dates can be fun, too! Aim to try a few new places to talk: a neighborhood park, a fun coffee shop, or even a stroll through your own neck of the woods. You’ll be amazed at how aligned you’ll feel just by taking an hour here and there to proactively address potential issues and resolve bigger arguments before they begin!
2. Put yourself in the other’s shoes for a day
Everyone has a different relationship with money. The way one another was raised can play a large role in how you view your current financial situation. Take the time to “exchange roles” for a day and try to see where your partner might be coming from. For example, if one individual was raised in a financially stressed household, this may significantly impact their career decisions and spending choices. On the other hand, if the other individual was able to enjoy financial flexibility and freedom, this is likely the reason they behave the way they do.
The bottom line: before judging your partner (and certainly before getting into a major disagreement), take the time to truly appreciate one another. Only upon achieving that level of mutual respect and understanding can you honestly chart a course of action together.
3. Don’t hold secrets
Honesty is so important in any relationship. Therefore, make sure you and your partner regularly discuss your credit history, debt liabilities, and other obligations. What other issues might be holding you back? How do you plan to address these potential obstacles? If you don’t discuss such things, you can never truly develop a strong foundation from which to build on.
4. Create a financial game plan
Who currently manages the budget, pays the bills, or organizes the finances in your household? Many individuals wrongfully assume the other party in the relationship is willing or able to handle all of these responsibilities. The truth is: it doesn’t matter who manages these tasks or how you divvy the duties. It only matters that you do address them!
5. Set realistic goals TOGETHER
What goals do you have for your relationship? Perhaps you’d like to travel, change careers, own a new home, continue your education, get married, or start a family. Whatever your aspirations are, be sure to establish a financial game plan for these milestones with your partner. Use one of your money dates to jot down some goals and ensure they are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound).
For example, make sure to think through the following: When would you like to accomplish these goals? What resources will you need to consider? What costs are associated with these goals? How will you measure or define success?
Then, hold one another accountable and get to work!
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